Ramblings 2000

The original comic-book industry rumour and news column, by Rich Johnston.

"The Drudge Report of comics..." -- Don Simpson

Elmo Health Warning:

This column is RUMOUR. Do not take anything here seriously. These RUMOURS are presented here as GOSSIP for their ENTERTAINMENT value.

What is Ramblings 2000?

Dateline: 8 June 2000

Mad Pulper --The T-Shirt

Ramblings intend to release a limited edition run of T-shirts, specially designed for the summer convention season. Strut down those San Diego walkways with the latest in Victoriana filth.

Yes, it's the pulped ad from League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen, advertising the Marvel Douche company. With the legend 'Mr Levitz, Do You Ever Feel Less Than... Fresh?' emblazoned across the shirt.

We've confirmed that the ad is public domain, and that neither Kev nor Alan added to its original printing. So all bets are off! Wahey!

E-mail our specially created address, madpulper@hotmail.com if you're interested. If we get enough interest, we'll work out the pricing and e-mail you to see if you're still interested. And it's first registered, first served.

Freebies will go out to the creative team behind League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen. And Paul Levitz.

Mad Pulper Ð The Origin Continues...

Regarding our previous Secret Origin Of The Mad Pulper story, we received the following responses from people seemingly in the know.

One person responds "Regarding your item about the Mad Pulper... the proofs that the editors saw DID include the ads. A few of them denied seeing the ads, but when we pulled the proofs back from the printer, they were indeed in place. (Had the ads not been in the proofs, it would have been the printer's responsibility and all that pulping would not have cost DC any money.)"

And another adds "Yeah, that Amalgam pulping story is generally true. It was indeed the ads that were the problem, although I don't recall if the situation was ads that ran instead of fake ads, or DC ads that ran when it was Marvel's turn to have the ads. ANYWAY, the funny coda to the whole thing is that Levitz had the issue pulped without telling Marvel about the fuck-up, I guess to save face. Someone in Marvel editorial later said that if DC had just told them about the fuck-up, they wouldn't have made them pulp the entire issue but maybe pay a small penalty, which means DC probably could have saved at least half the cost of the print run pulped. Now that's management."

Criminals are a superstitious and cowardly lot. I shall become... a pulper!

Kryptonite Ceiling

What is it with DC of late? The word coming from DC employees and sources close to the company have alluded to a 'kryptonite ceiling' in the DC Universe offices, where women just can't get promoted. Currently, there are no prominent women staff in the DC Universe... there's plenty in Vertigo, Mad, Cartoon Network and across the company in other positions... hell, there's Jeanette Kahn for goodness sake. But not in the superheroes, which is DC's bread and butter and the easiest way to get noticed and get on in the company. And tongues are wagging.

Most people we spoke to were not keen to go on the record over this situation, as in many cases it could affect their jobs or career prospects. In fact many weren't happy with Ramblings quoting what they had to say at all, even if they had a lot to say in private. But one surce told us "most women in the DCU leave after not getting promoted at all". Another said "Even people who thought the 'glass ceiling' for women in the DCU didn't exist are now beginning to wonder."

Based on recent events at DC, I can't blame them.

Once Upon A Time At Home I Sat Beside The Telephone Waiting For Someone To Pull Me Through. When At Last It Didn't Ring I Knew It Wasn't You.

Ahh, any excuse for a Billy Bragg lyric. So what's happening at Acclaim? Mike Doran on the Daily Buzz (www.mania.com/buzz) covered the various earlier responses and replies as they emerged on rec.arts.comics.misc, but a couple of later Usenet responses by Quantum And Woody writer, Priest, stick out and need highlighting.

While his editor at Acclaim, Omar Banally, has been let go and Quantum And Woody put on hold, Christopher Priest has yet to receive a phone call from anyone at Acclaim to tell him the situation -- he's seen it all emerge on Usenet instead.

Priest writes "Inker Romeo Tanghal got a call from publisher Walter Black. I have yet to be officially informed."

So, this appeal goes out to Acclaim, you have publication rights to the greatest superhero comic book currently being published, Quantum And Woody. You have the services of one of the better comic book writers, Priest. Why not pick up that phone and tell him how much you love him?

Acclaim reports that they will continue Quantum And Woody when issues 21 up to 27 are in the can are a little weird when we hear reports that artist MD Bright has finished issue 27 and Priest has started writing 28.

So what hope for continued adventures of Quantum And Woody if Acclaim don't get their act together? Well, Priest then let drop a biggie. "I can't discuss the rights status right now, other than to say an agreement is in place that covers rights reversion. At this point, it really depends on what Acclaim's publishing plans are, so we have to wait and see what they come back with and take it from there."

Acting On Impulse

What a lot of fun Todd DeZago's been having with the online news reporters of late. First he clearly states that Impulse is cancelled, then news sources such as Comic Wire (www.comicbookresources.com), Newsarama (www.fandom.com/comics) and Comics Continuum (www.comicscontinuum.com) get further clarification from him that yes, Impulse is cancelled. Ripping of sack cloth across the land ensues, except Todd then starts doing an 'oh no, that's not what I meant at all, I was surprised to see the Impulse Cancelled headlines', and changes his entire story based on a typo he claims he made on the DC Universe message boards. Except that self same message, he seems to make a number of similar typos, and repeated those typos when the comics news sources talked to him.

So what do I reckon happened? Well, from past experience, it looks like Todd was told by DC editorial that the book was cancelled, he started to tell people, DC changed its mind or its right hand discovered what its left hand was doing, got angry with Todd, Todd tried to fix things, and persuaded all the news reporting services to go along with it without pointing out the gaps in the story to help him out. Phew.

Beau Yarborough tells us "Well, I actually wrote three stories about the health of the "Impulse" series. The first was based on a letter to me by someone close to the book who at that time did not want their name used, something you're familiar with. To the best of my knowledge, nothing has changed in that regard, so I'm going to protect my source on this one."

"As for the other two articles, they both were based on comments left by Todd Dezago on DC Comics' "Impulse" message board. The second set of comments, placed next to the first, does in fact raise some questions. I am pursuing answers on my own, and think I may know what's going on, but I prefer not to speculate or comment further until I have supportable facts."

We wait with baited breath, oh wise one...

Of course one story concerning Impulse that seems to have slipped by is one that was predicted by Mark Martin in 20 Nude Dancers 20 ages ago...

Ethan VanSciver, the artist for Impulse, which is definitely not cancelled, posted to the DC Message Boards:

"We've got an agreement with NAUTICA clothing to feature their apparel on Bart Allen and his friends, starting with IMPULSE #67. This might be the first time that a mainstream book has utilized what the movie industry calls 'product placement', and we're all pleased as punch to be involved! Who knows what this might lead to, except that it's a good indication that the future might have comic book characters 'sponsoring' products within the books themselves, thereby generating more revenue for the comic book industry!"

Bucket Of Scotch

"Barman! Your finest methylated spirits if you please!"

Why, it's your friendly neighbourhood Rumour Mongering Wino! Sozzled as a sausage, we buy him a few drinks and he starts to spill. We get a cloth as he then starts giving us some rumours instead. All on very dodgy ground of course and not one of them checked with anyone who might actually know what's going on. Ah well.

"Right, mate, right. Nah, what was it? Oh yeah, during a panel discussion at Big Easy Con in New Orleans, Scott Lobdell informed the audience that he had finished writing the Hellhole movie, and was approached to pitch Batman: Year One. The wanker. No offence mate, is he a friend of yours? I'm pissed as a fart you know. Lovely."

"Anyway, The launch of DC's new tasty bit of stuff, phwoooahhh, look at the jesters on that, Harley Quinn project has been pushed back in DC's schedule again, mainly due to Terry & Rachel Dodson's schedules. They'll both be stopping work on all other pin ups and covers until they get up to speed. They're both wankers you know. Now, you buying us another drink? Come on you tight arsed bastard! I fucked your mother you know."

"Ahhh, bollocks. The future Green Lantern in the Green Lantern: Circle of Fire event will have a direct link into the current series, being the daughter of current the Current GL, although there is some confusion as to whether the mother is Donna Troy, Jade or even Supergirl. You're me best mate you know that? You fucker. I've pissed on your shoes and all."

"*BELCH* Wildstorm looks to drop the Star Trek License when it runs out, due to the fact that no one seems to be buying the minis. On the flipside, Dark Horse are considering the option of making Xena Monthly into a series of mini's, as they feel they would be better received by the fans. The fucking fans, ungrateful bastards, I used to have fans you know? Where are they now, eh? Fuck 'em."

"Ye bollocks, mate. I love ye bollocks. Over at Marvel, in direct competition to DC's Secret Files, Marvel plan to produce "Avengers: Strike Files" and "Marvel Heroes Unleashed" by the end of the year, featuring Bios of all major characters + a lead in story. Arse. Wank. Bollocks. Fucker."

"Fuck. Jeff Smith always said he'd do either his Bone comic or the Bone movie for Nickelodeon. Well, he's doing the third volume of Bone... so what happened with ol' Nick? Who fucking cares, the cunting cunt."

"Talking of cunts, there are twin alternative comics weddings this summer. Matt "Black Candy" Madden and Jessica "Artbabe" Abel will be married at the beginning of July in Chicago. Ariel "Deep Girl" Bordeaux and Rick "Doofus" Altergott will tie the knot at the month's end, probably in Seattle. Maybe I'll gatecrash, free booze you know? And I reckon I'll stick one up a bridesmaid or two. Fuck. It's a long way to Tipperary, it's a long way to go. Wank. I'll headbutt them for a start. Right in the fucking kisser and they'll be down, I'll take them on, I'll take you all on. Come here. You looking at my pint, you fuck? Your arse!"

"Snot fair, I knew Bob Marley, right gent, bought me a house, I burned it down. Now, after the Bissette interview in the Comics Journal a few years back, Alan Moore got rather annoyed off with both Steve and TCJ. Well, bridges were being rebuilt at Fantagraphics and an interview with the Northamption holy man arranged. And now Alan Moore is fighting with the Journal again, over Gary's portrayal of him in his recent "Comics Sucked from 1980-2000" editorial from a couple of issues back. Alan was scheduled to do an interview that will now not happen. A few days later, Gary Groth gets a release form from Wildstorm asking him to sign off on an appearance by himself in a forthcoming ABC comic. I hope you told them to get fucked. Oh shit, I've shat myself."

"Nyyeeee... Howard Porter's leaving comics... Byrne being dropped on his current books... Sam Keith's doing a book for Homage... ye bollocks..."

And with those final witterings, our rumour mongering wino stopped slipping us rumours, slipped into unconsciousness, slipped off his stool and slipped into a dream about large men with pitchforks and petrol. We didn't believe any of it anyway...

Plug-U-Like

We started with a plug, weÕll end with a plug. I'm writing a weekly column for http://www.silverbulletcomicbooks.com called, imaginatively, Rich's Rumblings (which is what *this* column used to be called about seven name changes ago), I'm still selling lots of comics at http://www.geocities.com/evenwood/sale.html and I've been doing some weird sitcom writing for Kev F Sutherland's Situations Vacant at http://www.sitsvac.org .

And a quick congratulations to Mike Doran and Matt Brady for Comics Newsarama, launched at http://www.fandom.com/comics. And thanks for the Ramblings link back. Now, who's for a fight?

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