Twistblog

Looks like one person went a bit overboard trying to get a last few in before the smoking ban starts tomorrow.

Someone’s trying to blow us up again! You know, I really wish they wouldn’t, it can be so inconvenient. Gas canisters in a car with boxes of nails is the current theory. Still it’s nice to see our homegrown terrorists are continuing to be as incompetent in their attempts to blow us all up. Not only didn’t it work, but trying at 2am in the morning will only take out a few shouting hoorah henriettas. No no no, try it at 9am, that’s more like it. Honestly, these modern terrorists, they don’t know the first thing about the proper process/

Today London commuters remember with sadness, loss and sometimes tears the tragic day exactly one year ago, that their daily commute was slightly inconvenienced.

“It was a hot humid July morning, the tubes were full and the stickiness was getting too almost too much” recalls art director Gavin McKenzize, 41. “I was on the Victoria line, pulling up into Pimlico, when the driver announced that the train was terminating and we should seek alternative transport. Well, I was outraged. I had to walk another three miles in, and I turned up half an hour late. I still have flashbacks to it today.”

Jane Cornucopia, 25, has similar memories. “I had a meeting at nine thirty. Not only was I three-quarters of an hour late, but the place I buy my pre-meeting croissant and coffee from was shut. As a result, the meeting went badly and I wasn’t on top form. No one thinks of the knock on effects this kind of thing will cause.”

But it wasn’t all bad new. Suzie Desk, 34 told us “Because I had to, you know, walk to work, I discovered there was this bit of green I’d never seen before called Hyde Park. It’s lovely. I may have been late for my job as a madam for a famous Soho brothel, which caused a few strained faces I can tell you, but I arrived with a spring in my step.”

Today, London held a two minute silence to remember those lost minutes one year ago. We will never forget.

Just received the Venture Bros Season One on DVD. I had only caught two or three episodes on adult swim, since they seem to air it only once or twice a week, and since I rarely am in front of a TV which receives cable. From the first episode, “Dia De Los Dangerous!,” I was hooked, and have been waiting ever since for this boxed set. Other episodes of note include “Ice Station - Impossible,” a parody of the Fantastic 4 and the Incredibles, and The Incredible Mr. Brisby, which features a battle royale between a Disney-like figure and the Orange County Liberation Front.

The show is a brilliant send-up of Jonny Quest; here the boy detectives are idiots, Dr. Venture lives in the shadow of his own father, and their bodyguard, Brock Sampson, is a larger-than-life character with a License to Kill who will spare no brutality to protect his charges. The soundtrack, provided by J.G. Thirwell (a.k.a Jim Foetus/Clint Ruin), is spy music on steroids, and worth the price of admission alone.

The DVD is well worth getting and nicely packaged, with some amazing art from Bill Sienkiewicz, and some great extras, including an Xmas episode, the original series pilot, and a number of funny behind-the-scenes features.

Okay, it used to be that American toy companies were content with marketing insanely dangerous toys like potato guns and giant lawn darts.

Now they have a new toy which will likely have an active resale market in the San Fernando Valley adult film industry. Behold, the Oozinator, by SuperSoaker.

This is sooooo wrong, for so many reasons, not the least being the tagline at the end where the announcer says “Major pumping required…”

I assume the video is safe for work, since it’s airing on children’s television here, but the unclean feeling will persist for hours.

Consumerist has a hilarious excerpt from the User’s Comments for this toy at Amazon, which they took down later.

Is this the result of months of market research where America’s children demanded to be showered in copious amounts of “bio-goo” while a fellow prepubescent vigorously pumps a giant alien phalllus?

See, maybe it isn’t such a good idea to sell 9-year-olds thongs at Abercrombie and Fitch after all. Maybe Tipper Gore was right.

Separated at Birth? Check out the uncanny resemblance between this Hulk figure ad from Toy Biz and David Hasselhoff:

I won’t make the requisite joke about anger management issues. I just won’t.

And, I don’t condone this sort of thing at all, but have a go at WaxHoff.com for a bit of virtual chest waxing.

Okay, someone from that side of the pond is going to have to explain something to me. Who the hell is Lordi? I keep thinking that maybe he’s the Rob Zombie of Christian Rock, since he seems to sing a lot about angels and kicking Satan’s ass, all in phonetic, if a bit gravelly, English.

Finland Rocks! er, sort of. Love the costumes, definitely takes the GWAR schtick a bit farther…

Anyway, he seems to be all over YouTube and Google Video, sort of like an infectious Scandinavian aural pandemic.

Just got back from a short visit to Seattle. Stayed at the fabulous Edgewater Hotel, lodging for many a rock star in its day, and home of the infamous Mud Shark Incident, immortalized in the Led Zeppelin book and many a Frank Zappa performance.

Walked over the skylights to the Seattle Underground , though I didn’t take the tour this time, and spent two days working in the historic Smith Tower, at one time the 4th tallest building in the world, and currently the only building remaining on the West Coast with manually-operated elevators.

I remember the Seattle Underground figuring prominently in either one of the TV movies or the series “The Night Stalker,” the original one with Darrin McGavin. I’m definitely going to set aside some time to take the tour next time I’m up there, as this sort of secret architectural history appeals to me. The sidewalks in this area (Pioneer Square, I beleive) have little purple inlays that happen to be glass illuminating the Underground below. Access to the underground is through unmarked doors on the street.

I was playing tonight with the site 43places.com . This site is pretty good at ferreting out cool places to go in Seattle, and I assume other cities. My favorite part of Seattle so far is Belltown, and there’s a lot of information about it on the site. I’m also looking at the Ace Hotel in Belltown, which sounds like a fairly cool place to stay in the middle of things.

Bit of history first:

Mel Smith and Gryff Rhys Jones are two stalwart British comedians. Their sketch show Alas Smith And Jones succeeded the ensemble team Not The Nine O’Clock News, and ran for over ten years, through the eighties and nineties.

Recently, following the successful representation of another classic sketch series as The Two Ronnies Sketchbook, the BBC have run a Smith And Jones Sketchbook, where the two older chaps play old sketches to a studio audience and reminisce.

Tonight’s show had a sketch featuring British comedian Chris Langham. A writer for Spike Milligan and an occasional head in Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Langham was on the first series of Not The Nine O’Clock News and Smith talked about how Jones’ role in the show grew after Langham left. They talked about how since then, Langham has gone on to fame in the recent The Thick Of It.

Except that this show was recorded last year. At which point, Chris Langham had not been charged with making indecent images of children, as he was last week.

In light of this, this tribute to Langham seemed curiously… out of place.

You don’t suppose they forget this was in it and sat, their fist forcing its way into their mouth as the glowing tribute went on air.

Ouch.

BT fixed the problem and paid out some compensation to boot.

This may have been the dullest return to blogging ever. But at least it inspired Mike to write some far more interesting stuff.

Feel free to check out RichAndMark.Com, anyone who stumbles across this…